Shit People Say

Ahh... another work type post. Honestly, I think work has taken over my life and that may be a good or bad thing. I am still trying to figure that out.

Anyway, answering phones can be a really fun thing. Whether you answer your home phone, cellphone or work phone, you can play around with people on the other end. You know, like answering the phone pretending you are a pizza place. Or maybe you try to mask your voice. Or maybe, just maybe, someone has reached you by dialing the wrong number and you still try to hold on a conversation.

Nothing beats answering phones at work though. You never really know what people will say on the other end. Because of the laughter I have found over the many years of answering phones at all my different jobs, I thought I could share some of the best of the best quotes. Now these quotes may have come from my new job or from one of my other 12 jobs I have ever had. Also, not all of these conversations were from external callers. Some may have been from other coworkers calling me. It will just have to be a guessing game on your end.

"What is the best lawyer in the world?" This is how I wanted to reply - Really, like what type of laywer and the best based on whose standards. That is a little hard to judge.

"I'm not going to answer your questions, you're going to answer mine." This is how I wanted to reply - Well, I will not answer any questions if you are going to act like that. You don't have to be so rude.

"Have another tequila in your coffee." This is how I wanted to reply - That is actually a rather smart idea, if only it was Friday.

"I have a burial plot that everybody needs and I would like to sell it." This is how I wanted to reply -  Do you want to sell it to me personally? But if everybody needs it, why do you want to sell it?

"I am looking for a drug dealer." This is how I wanted to reply -  Well here is my personal cell phone number. I can hook you up!

"I want to talk to someone about something that can help me with something." This is how I wanted to reply -  Can you be more vague? Honestly.

What are some of the craziest things you have heard on the phone?