The Perfect Marriage

I am sitting here looking out the window to a winter wonderland, reminiscing about the weekend. The one weekend of the year that is dedicated to love. Did you all have a wonderful Valentine's Day?

February 14th is a day that makes us conscious of showing and sharing our love. We might buy ourselves or our significant other a special present - chocolates, jewelry, or go out to dinner. It's a day of love that should be celebrated more days than just one.

A planned an afternoon of surprises. He made reservations at a BBQ joint that has the absolute best spicy moscow mule then we went to the movies. It was really a wonderful evening, until... A was playing with his wedding band during the movie and somehow it slipped right out of his hands. Here we are sitting in a dark room with theater style seats and he looks at me, "I just dropped my ring." My heart dropped and I began to sweat. Mind you, this is not the first time A has 'misplaced' his ring. In fact, he now has a replacement ring, but no ring will be the same as the one we exchanged our vows to.

We sat there completely distracted from the movie and asked ourselves if we should get on our hands and knees and start crawling around on the floor. You know, those creepy people that others call the security guard in for. This is exactly what A did and he could not find the ring in our aisle. We waiting until the end of the movie when a majority of the crowd left and they cranked those bright lights on. Luckily, he asked the group in front of us if they could check below their seats. It was there! Yippee!

At this point it didn't matter because I was still upset. And this is how today's post came about - how to have the perfect marriage.

There is no PERFECT marriage.
This is what makes being married fun. There will be good times and there will be bad. It is important to put more weight on the good and treat the bad as a lesson.

DO NOT compare your marriage to others.
What makes your marriage so special is the uniqueness of it. The relationship between you and your spouse is a snowflake - no two are exactly the same. Sure you might argue more than your coworkers or friends, but you might also love harder than their relationship. Once you stop comparing, you can focus on creating a fulfilling marriage.

Workout together.
Or do productive hobbies together. Anger can so easily creep up, so why not nip it right in the butt. Exercise can help create those happy hormones and you both can help encourage the other to beat their PR.

Take time alone.
Again, anger can so easily creep up. Sometimes all we need is a little alone time. Let your spouse go out with their friends or you do the same. Distance makes the heart grow fonder.

Ditch the friends and spend time together.
To go against the previous suggestion, don't spend too much time away from each other. Sometimes you need to ditch those plans with friends and just dedicate some time with your significant other.

Trust your loved one.
If you trust them, they can trust you.

Communication.
Try your hardest to have open communication. When it fails, try again. Think of your marriage like a business. If communication between departments or coworkers are not pristine, the company is hurting. Don't let your marriage hurt due to lack of communication.

The list goes on and on. Mostly because, there is NO perfect marriage. To create a list would just be impossible. How do you work towards having a perfect marriage?
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*The winner of the Unplugged Tshirt giveaway is Debbie. Please respond to the email to receive the exclusive shirt. Thanks to everyone that entered.

Day of Love

Oh, the day of love. 

Valentine's Day!

Whether you are single, engaged, married, or just dating your significant other, 

Valentine's Day is a day to show a little extra love. 

So if you are that single person then treat yourself to a spa day or a super naughty snack. 

But for those in a relationship, try and show your partner a little extra love than normal.

The Hubby and I celebrated Valentine's Day (dinner) over the past weekend so that we could cook together. We ventured out from our normal dishes and created something fantastic. 

Dinner for two.

Butternut squash soup is one of my all time favorites. 

So yummy.

Roasted asparagus is amazing. You must try it.

The main man, beef wellington.

Amazing!

And what would Valentine's day be without cutesy cards and beautiful flowers?

 Don't forget to head over and enter my giveaway.

You will be helping out a great charity in the process too.

Entries are low and your chances are great!

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While we are talking about love. 

Why not head over to Indianapolis Bloggers and show some love because I am officially a member!! 

I am so very excited to be a part of their team and see where this journey takes me.

Across the Miles

I have been talking to a lot of different people regarding my long distance relationship 

that I used to have with my Hubby. I believe all this conversation has started 

since I posted about our 7 years together, here.

I can post all day and night about all the positive that is now in my life and blah, blah, blah.

But really, long distance relationships suck and they are hard work.

The six years in which we were in a long distance relationship was tough on us emotionally, 

physically, and mentally. Some days I felt like giving up I am not sure how Hubby felt about it.

I do not normally share negative things on my blog but I am writing this in hopes that I can help out 

those of you who are in a long distance relationship. I am not writing this to scare 

anyone away from a long distance relationship because each is different in its own way 

but to show the realities and how we overcame them.

So let's start at the beginning. Our first four years of the long distance relationship, we were 

separated by about 100 miles. Now that is really not that far but we were both in school and had jobs. 

That meant that we only saw each other on the weekends or every other weekend. 

This was a very trying time for me. I had never been in a long distance relationship and my prior 

relationship ended in a way that ruined my trust for a long time to come. So how was I supposed to trust someone that I had only known for a year? Trust that this person would be solely monogamous to me? 

Especially while being at a party school, living on campus  which I did not do, he did, and believe that drunk girls would not throw themselves at him? Okay that all may be a bit dramatic but at the time that's how I felt.

Now let's move onto the 5th year of our long distance relationship. During this 5th year, Hubby had graduated college and found a job that relocated him about 730 miles away from me. This was a tough, tough time for me. This time I knew he was not going to be at a party school and such, but that he would be working hard and I did not know how he would deal with being away from his family. 

We tried hard to make it a point to visit each other every 3 months. It got extremely costly but we 

stuck with it trying to alternate who went to visit who. But then all the holidays 

came around and he mostly came to visit me because it was closer to his family. 

We always made it a point to talk on the phone everyday. But often times Hubby would be so tired and fall asleep while I was talking to him. Let me tell you, it is extremely hard to build a close, personal relationship when you are miles apart. Many days I would hang up the phone upset or mad because we hardly had a conversation. Most of the time they went like this, "How was your day? Mine was okay. This, this and this happened. Okay, have a goodnight and I will talk to you tomorrow. Love you too.". It was the same thing day in and day out.

Now the 6th year comes along. Hubby's job relocated him and we were now over 2,200 miles away from each other. It was coming down to 9 months before our wedding and we had our shower, rehearsal, and 

tastings to still attend before our big day. All these details from what kind of 

flower to what flavor cake to seating charts and invitations and so on.

I would try to ask questions about the wedding over the phone but Hubby, again, would fall asleep. 

I couldn't really blame him because he was working long hours and crazy shifts. 

But really, at the time I was pissed. We tried to continue to see each other every 3 months but it 

became hard to work around with all the wedding festivities. 

The longest we went without seeing each other was 6 months right before the wedding.

Those 6 months were a very intense time for me. I felt like I was losing control of what our relationship was and it was all about the wedding because let's face it, I wanted it to be a nice day. During those 6 months, I was finishing school, studying for the NCETM, planning the details for the wedding, and planning my move across country. 

I was spiraling downwards and fast.

Finally, once I moved to be with my Hubby things got so much better. We already knew a lot about each other over the 7 years that living together wasn't much of a surprise. It was just about building our personal bond together since we were used to just talking on the phone. 

As I previously said, long distance relationships can be extremely challenging but each relationship is 

different because of the people and distances between them.

This post was not written to scare anyone. More so to share my experiences.

via google images

So how do you feel about long distance relationships?